UA895 to Chicago.

So here I am, Sunday morning with the knowledge that piles of work await me; all to be done by today but still I sit on my bed, in front of Ethan for hours and hours now. I swear, if skype was to charge me, I'd make them a millionaire by now.

Anyways, the last two weeks were good. I am definitely enjoying school way more now then I was two months ago. I am doing pretty well in school, which I am more than grateful of. I am just hoping its not temporary just because its the first few chapters. There is a lot of things I have to do though - like start SATs, look up universities and possibly start on the other tests I have to sit for for studying medicine in UK - just thinking about these makes me all overwhelmed.

--

I had so many reasons to look forward to December, now I also have reasons to dread it. Once more - 3 of my friends are leaving the country to go to UK/Aust/India and 2 of them are such great friends of mine. This is just ridiculous.

--

I miss yellow&blue.

--

One more thing, I WANT A BOBBLE HEAD!!

cheers.

Lake Forest, IL

Deerpath

--

'Because my love for you burns like wild, wild fire. 'Because it's been too long now that I have kept this from you. 'Because I think I had enough.

One more month.

X

Langkawi '09

It's the season of celebration again. But I'm everything but excited. I remember someone telling me that once we come to this certain age, Eid feels like any other day. That person was certainly not kidding. The only thing thats gonna be different tomorrow would probably be all that heavy eating. But its always the same kinda food every Eid, its almost like your taste buds can anticipate it and *snap* there goes all that excitement.

So, here I am 230am in the morning, remembering the times when Eid was something I used to look forward to. Going shopping (to Aarong) for new clothes. Rushing the day before to get whatever I was left with. All the outfits must have matching shoes, purse, earrings, necklaces and whatnots! Coloured nails, hairties that matched the outfits. Cousins asking what clothes we got and how many. Comparing, showing off. Sleeping early so we could wake up early the next day. Changing the sheets of our bed. Into new ones that we bought just for Eid. The sister and I would get matching bedsheets and outfits. We would get atleast 2-3 outfits and decide which to wear when. Sometimes even changing halfway through the day. Mom tying our hair - two ponytails, braids, sometimes, a little blusher when mommmy left like it. Those golden jewelry we had, mommy would take them out and put them on us while reminding us to be careful with it and not take them out incase we lost them. OH and yes, ofcourse, the Eid-ie! (Eid money) I remember counting how much we received in the end of the day and comparing the amounts among the cousins. It felt more of a race, a 'job' collecting these. We would rush outta the house in the morning to greet all our uncles and aunties and grandmothers and ofcourse parents to get them. Hinting the amount we wanted. We never get those anymore. Now that we can actually put the money into good use. Hmmmm.

Sigh, goodtimes. Where did those times go?

Now, at 12pm I'm still in bed.

I miss the sister. I can't remember the last time the whole family had a good Eid together. The last time the 4 of us were actually together. With the actual Eid feeling in the air. We grew outta the whole phase to fast. It doesnt help that its worse in Singapore.

_____

I should stop lazing around so much.

Shawty's like Melody in my head;

That I can't keep out.

So Prit left this week. You'd think by now I should be used to this, but no it doesn't get any easier. Unfair, this is. Maybe I should move to the US. Maybe, just maybe. Skype's become my bestfriend.

So lately, I'm finding myself sticking around, waiting, and waiting some more. Not quite sure what for, but waiting. I realised there is this anticipation in me. I can't quite figure of what exactly. I have too many questions, too little answers.

I wish, I could hear from you again. Hug you close and stay that way for a little longer than 10seconds. Like we were infront of that greasy foodplace. That day, when both of us were a little moody, and we didn't talk much. We had a good time still, spending time with each other. It didn't come easy, we had to ration our time. It was bliss. Do you remember?

I'll be thinking about you.

I can't stop thinking about last weekend; I smile like a doofus every single time. :D Thank you, you - you make me very happy. (Even though it was harder to settle back into routine on Monday. And sleep, oh, the lack of sleep!) Can't wait for this weekend <3

--

It's very coincidental that the text we are doing in English now is almost exact replica of life. Well, not so much of the plot, no, but the big message, the whole idea, yes. As we were discussing the text, I felt like a third person and a first person at the same time. Like dreaming - I was inside the dream AND watching it at the same time. It felt like they were all commenting on my life. I now have the words to describe what I have been trying to for the longest time now. Suddenly, I don't feel alone anymore, because, I'm not the only fool who is experiencing this. I don't know where to begin, now that my realization is clear.

--

I am like a hot air balloon,

Dancing with the rhythm of the air.

A sudden gust of wind,

And I'm taken, far far

Away.

Cheers.

Wendy left for UK on Friday; it does help that lately, since Fairfield, we didn't speak or spend time as much together but the fact that I know I can't just pick up my phone and arrange a meet up or just text not expecting a reply till hours late but still texting her anyways, suck. I guess the fact that I knew she was just there for me, though a few roads away, was comforting enough. We fooled around alot, didn't talk or get a chance to spend time together a lot, especially this year, but I believe we had this mutual understanding that.. I can't explain in words. I miss you, a hell alot, already, love. Can't wait for you to come back. Take care and please don't become a snobby brit. <3

Say Hello to.. ETHAN. My new MacBook Pro. I'm already in love with it- its scary how far technology has gone. Makes you wonder how much further it will go. Its going faster than ever now given the technology thats already out in this crazy world we live in. Reminding myself to stop poking around with it so much and to actually go get some sleep cause there is school tomorrow but well you can see that is phailing very badly. Its 2am already. And I haven't done any work since I got home this evening. Other than fiddling diddling with this. There is a Spanish test tomorrow;

Me llamo Jumana Hashim. Jumana es mi nobmre. Hahim es mi apellido. Soy bangladesa pero vivo y estudio en Singapur. Hablo ingles y banglades. Muy Bien, mucho gusto. Adios!

Even though what I said above has nothing to do with my test tomorrow. :/

--

I have become numb. I don't quite know if I like it or not, and if I could have it any other way, I don't really know what I want outta it. There's too much in my head lately. I haven't had a good night's (or day's) sleep for the longest time. I forgot how a lot of things feel. I reach out, hoping to reach something but I retreat empty-handed every single time; it's getting frustrating. But like I said- Numb. I could get used to this.

--

School is getting better, as expected. Still tryna totally settle in. Made a lot of (different) interesting friends for sure. It's been a very amusing 2 weeks, letting myself sink into this life. I guess its really not the same to be closely acquianted to people leading sucha lifestyle and actually livin' it for yourself. If there's something I learnt, it is to balance. Balance the different groups of friends; and I don't even mean different groups of friends in school. Balance work with fun. Balance life in general; too many aspects to list out. I am having a fairly good time, except for the pile of work thats drowning me. (I should stop complaining about my workload so much.) I think I am getting the hang of this. I must say I quite like it.

With that, I enter another week of school.

Cheers.

xx